CauliWobbles

Football Hierarchy – NCAA

Football is a fickle sport – Your enemy this week may be your best friend next.  The team you thought was going to lay down and let you rub their belly has you down 10 in the fourth quarter, on the road.  Your +15.5 Spread, your fantasy football playoffs, who your father-in-law likes-  these millions of factors drive your fandom and rooting interests.  In a vacuum though, you know how you feel about these teams.  History, geographical proximity or colors, you have STRONG (or not strong) feelings about them and if you throw out the noise there is a pecking order of your fandom.  This hierarchy shows your rooting interest when you don’t actually NEED your rival to score an upset against someone in your path.  If all other things are equal, and these teams play you will root for one tier over the next.  These reflect the 2024-2025 season and are subject to change year over year. For NCAA these are primarily the major conference with a few others thrown in.  Here’s mine: what’s yours??

Category #1 – My TEAMS

South Carolina

Indiana

LOL I must not enjoy life AT ALL.  These teams have a tremendously mediocre history of football but they are MY Teams.  Gamecocks had a run of success in my lifetime that sadly may never happen again, and really wasn’t that impressive, but I love them with all my Heart.  Indiana gave me Michael Penix to root for last year and an exciting coaching hire but will still be a cellar dweller in the juiced Big 10.

Category #2 – Je ne sais quoi  – Random Fandom

Miami

Oregon

Washington

Notre Dame

TCU

Texas

Vanderbilt

LSU

Michigan

K. State

WVU

Georgia Tech

Utah

UCLA

Wisconsin

Virginia

Here is a smattering of teams that I truly do like for SOME Reason, even if I don’t know what the reason is.  Some of them I just like because I’ve been to the campus (TCU, Virgina, Georgia tech),  Some I like because of nostalgia (Miami, Texas),  Some are   Some I like for aesthetic or Mascot Purposes (UCLA, Washington, LSU, Notre Dame, Oregon),  Some I completed a certificate for my job through rigorous training and continuous improvement (Michigan).  Some are just tough muthas (Utah, K. State).  And some you just Pity and hope for the best knowing that you actually want them to lose so you’re only 4^5th in the SEC East.

Category #3 – Hey- this guy is fun! I guess

UNC

Washington St

Michigan St.

Az. State

Arizona

Colorado

Stanford

Cal

USC

Boston College

Oregon St

Minnesota

Pitt

Va. Tech

Mississippi St

Northwestern

Wake Forest

Kansas

Most of these teams have SOMETHING (Geography, colors, Tradition!) that I like about them, but more importantly – there’s nothing I HATE about them.  I certainly prefer these teams to most of their conference brethren, whoever that is now.  I honestly can’t pinpoint any one thing about these teams that I love but I don’t mind cheering for them on Saturdays.

Category #4 – Ok you can come in, but don’t , like touch anything, ok?

Kentucky

Mississippi

BYU

Boise St

Tulane

UCF

Missouri

OK State

Tx. Tech

Purdue

SMU

Iowa St

Louisville

Iowa

NC State

Maryland

Duke

Illinois

Cincinatti

Texas A&M

Houston

Rutgers

Nebraska

Here is a group of teams I am positively indifferent too.  There are teams have flashed in my lifetime (Boise, Louisville,,Cincy, UCF, Texas AM), usually with great players but none of them excite me in the long term.  There’s a couple of SEC teams but they are SEC west aside from KY and although Kentucky has beaten SC a lot lately, I can’t find hate in my heart for their football team (fuck basketball though).  These teams are often in the bottom half of their conference so as long as they’re not hurting anyone I care about, I can live with them- but the second they start biting my dog then they need to be put down.

Category # 5 – I really don’t like your face – can you do something about your face?

Auburn

Arkansas

Baylor

Syracuse

Florida St

Oklahoma

Penn St

Auburn have great colors but I don’t like them and Cam Newtown ripped my heart out twice in the only good season the ‘Cocks have ever had.  Arkansas fans are annoying as shit.  Baylor allowed some pretttttttyyyyy bad stuff.  Can’t stand Eric Devendorf and Syracuse.  Florida St, Oklahoma and Penn State are the primary beneficiaries of the expanded playoff – can’t wait to see if they can do something with it [spoiler:  they can’t!]

Category #6 – Get the FUCK off my lawn

Alabama

Tennessee

Ohio State

I am fully sick of these teams.  Alabama has been the Patriots and ruined college football.  Ohio state is always there as well so, while I respect their greatness, want them to lose….badly.  Tennessee has arguably the most obnoxious fans who THINK they’ve had the success of Alabama and Ohio State but have been the 9^th best SEC team for the past 20 years.

Category #7 – These Bullies are why I speak to my Therapist

Georgia

Florida

In the entirety of my college football Fandom, these teams have owned the SEC east.  Georgia is the new Bama – they steal every recruit out of nearby states and just roll through.  Athens is an incredible town but I dispise Georgia- the few and far between wins over the Bulldogs have been some of my all time favorites.  Florida ruined my actual college experience.  I got to watch Tim Tebow soak with my team for four years while a murdering tight end almost destroyed my pro franchise.  I witnessed multiple losses personally at “The Swamp” and have banned my children from stepping within the city limits of the Gainesville/Ocala Metroplex.

Category #8 – Clempson

Fuck Dabo, Fuck the Rock,  Fuck Deshaun Watson and his pervy behavior, Fuck the ACC for sucking and allowing them to dominate for a period, I hope Dabo tears an ACL  on that hill trying to beat all his players to the field.  I hate this team with every fiber of my being.  They are not only a rival, but a team that has had success right in my face and has the most hatable man in college football at their helm.  I love Tahj Boyd though, let’s bring him back!